Claiming Magnificance in my imperfections
The topic of redefining the word Powerful Women came up over the weekend and I must say it has not left my awareness.
Tonight my son was watching Spiderman and he asked me why he could not spin webs like his favorite hero.
My thoughts immediately went to the word superpower. I told my son that although he could not spin webs in this moment of his life he already had a superpower. He was intrigued and asked me what superpower he had. I told him ‘his’ power was inside his body and by allowing himself to see what he sees, hear what he hears and know what he knows his power would be in using his voice to tell what he feels on the inside to the outside world. By allowing what is inside of him, the truth of his experience, to make its way into the world unfiltered means he has superpowers! He immediately asked me if everyone had these superpowers. My response was everybody has the superpower but some choose not to use it, some do not know it is inside of them and some have been told from a very young age their superpower is not welcomed…but everybody has it. He seemed pleased with himself as he ran off continuing to try and shoot webs out of his wrists!
We all have a superpower. I tried to hide mine for many years and even the other day as I recorded a CD with Louise called “Intimacy, Birth and Rebirth” (more to come later about this) I felt the shakiness in my body as I allowed the truth of my experience to come out of my mouth unfiltered and uncensored. I was aware of the discomfort in my body and I stayed with it. A few minutes later I realized the sensation had turned to excitement and all I had to do was stay with the feeling of discomfort so my body could process it and reveal something else! Normally I would disconnect from my body to ‘get through’ something but I now know I also disconnect from my Authenticity when what comes out of my mouth does not match what is inside of me and what ends up coming out of my mouth in my state of disconnect is simply the culturally conditioned me.
Another key ‘green dot moment’ (light bulb moment) that flooded my awareness after completing the CD recording is just how non-linear I am. My Authentic thoughts follow no sequence and have no definite start or end point to them. It makes perfect sense that I stayed disconnected from who I really was under cultural conditioning for so many years because to have the life I thought I should have meant being very organized, keeping a sequence and always staying on track. These were the very things that allowed me to stay small and in the box for so many years!
It is all just now making sense…I have been attempting to write blogs for months since Manifesting (the program I connected strongly to who I Am in the world) but I would get ‘off track’ and end up not finishing them and eventually discarded them because they were all over the place in their content! Tonight I am very aware as I write this that I am allowing myself to go all over the place and it feels AMAZING! I have no idea if any of this makes sense but since the whole point of my blog is to have a conversation with myself to discover more about my Authentic self, I am prepared to put this out to further Decloak and as an invitation for others to think of their lives differently then they may have a few minutes ago.
What are the things we really think are ‘us’ that are simply strategies we have gotten really comfortable living? Could these be the very things that keep us disconnected from the Essence of who we are in the world?
The freedom I feel right now is MAGICAL!! Another layer has peeled away and I am left feeling more integrated then ever!
I feel a little anxious about pressing the publish button because my grammar is not correct, I have bounced all over the place and essentially it is not linear but I know this is another layer of cultural conditioning about to peel away as I claim more of the ‘real, non-linear me’. My head is held high as I let go of something I have clung to for so many years and realize I now get to claim another Authentic aspect of my being.
We really are Magnificent in our imperfections! Now that I know this in myself I can accept this and welcome it in you!
With Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit.
Naomi
July 1, 2009 12:44 AM
Louise LeBrun said…
Hi Naomi,
Years ago, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Christiane Northrup, MD. When she began to speak, she said (as she waived her hands in the air): “I’m going to go here; and I’m to go there… and I’m coming back!”, letting us know that her thoughts may not be linear AND they are profoundly connected. It was a joy to listen to her speak.
I was with you for your new CD – and it was, once again, a joy for me to listen to YOU speak!
I look forward to hearing the finished product.
Aloha and a hug,
Louise
July 1, 2009 11:37 AM
Lisa said…
Naomi,
Your words have such beautiful flow today! I followed the page from Women Gathering to here and enjoyed the journey, immensely. Reverberations of excitement seem to be jumping from your words. Something deeper has resonated with me, too, as I don’t know what it is yet though tears flow as information moves. You’ve reminded me that integration and flow are alive. Mahalo for who you are in this world — you are amazing.
July 14, 2009 4:15 PM
heartnurse said…
A little like colouring outside the lines, isn’t it.
We do what we are fed growing up.
Like your blog and I think half of the world is unconcious to what we eat,what we say and how we react.
“I feel a little anxious about pressing the publish button because my grammar is not correct, I have bounced all over the place and essentially it is not linear but I know this is another layer of cultural conditioning about to peel away as I claim more of the ‘real, non-linear me’.”
I find your line of thought quite easy to follow even if non-linear. You’ll find in fact people who complain about things like grammar or sentence structure are bothered by it because they are trained to absorb the thoughts of other people in the form of such predetermined “boxes” of information. This way, the “boxes” can be regurgitated easily, and they never have to think for themselves.
Never worry about conformity when delivering a unique thought, those concerned by formatting will get hung up on it. No great poem of life ever played follow the leader.
I like your explanation to your little one about super powers, often we don’t recognize our own abilities. I am a big fan of divergent thinking, and I’m delighted to read your posts.
Thank you for your thoughts. I really marvel as I return to this old blog and discover how real it was at the time as I allowed myself to move through that which had surfaced in my body. I know what others think of me is based on their own internal judgments AND allowing it to trigger and surface what sits inside of me, knowing it is all me, is the gateway to me becoming more. For so long my thinking created my knowing and now my knowing creates my thinking. Evolution for it’s own sake becomes possible because it is born inside of me and not through someone else thought
This is refreshing and I am so glad to not feel alone. I feel like sometimes the way I think and describe things is thought of as odd. I am often times told that my explanations are long winded and don’t make sense. But this is like reading my own web of thoughts in my own head. You wrote down here how I find myself truly feeling on the inside, but am often scared to say on the outside. It’s almost as if my adult self is not done growing up yet. As though my brain keeps on developing and making my life’s general rules of living a contradiction to themselves sometimes. Thank you for your words!
You are indeed NOT alone Sara! As children we are not taught to trust the truth our body carries (and it can be as simple as “I am hungry and we are told you can’t be, you just ate, or at the other end of the spectrum physical, emotional and sexual abuse ensuring we not listen to the truth WE carry)- so as adults we often wonder why we are all grown up and living with the resources of a ie.5 year old. When events are triggered in our bodies as adults if we do not have a larger context to consider our lives we continue to live through the perceptual filters of our experiences as a ie.5 year old. I have been exactly where you find yourself and now I know my body processes and metabolizes emotion and sensations as it does my lunch and I know to be mySelf what I say outside must match what I know inside. And…it is a journey to Self…we get to choose the context and our options are the one we were taught OR the one we create for ourselves.
I clicked on this blog today because I thought there might be room here for me to show up. There is so much moving in my body as I make the choice to allow my fingers to start typing. I’m new to the blog and this may not be pretty but there is something I need to hear myself say.
Lately, I have become painfully aware of the reaction I have any time I reach out to connect with others. All I have to do is send an email to someone and it can be triggered. I am so aware that the thoughts that are streaming through my mind are from another time and place and yet here they are, right now, still running rampant in my life despite all the new awarenesses I have had in the past few years. The sense that I annoy people and that I am not worthy of their precious time is so strong.
In truth I think who is most annoyed is me. I’m so annoyed and fed up with myself and my reluctance to stop censoring myself. I became so sick of censoring myself that I’ve backed myself into a life where I spend most of my time alone thinking that I would find relief there. Now all I am is alone with the same thoughts tearing me apart along with all the other thoughts that I wish I had the courage to share. Things are getting very backed up and my body feels sluggish and heavy.
This is not meant to bog anyone down with my woes..this is me attempting to put voice to how I feel in this moment. I know this needs to move through me before I can let myself shine and I desparately want to shine at some point in this life. Thank you.
Hello Tara,
Great to ‘see’ you here. Thank you for your willingness and courage to share YOU. Processing our entrenched beliefs in what we have been taught to believe a ‘human’ body to be can only be done safely in our intellect. When we remember we are a Quantum processor it allows for large amounts of information to be integrated safely so we may come to know ourselves differently…and then we see others and our experiences through new eyes.
I wrote this when I returned back from Manifesting and want to share it here with you: I look forward to our paths crossing again soon!
Good Morning Godforces in Quantum Bodies!
Life has been wonderfully FULL since I returned home.
I am in full flow as the eyes of my device have shifted and ‘I’ see my world to reflect the shift.
I was driving the other day and the mist was coming off the wet fields and all the sudden a flock of white birds appeared beside my car flying at the same height as my window….Magical! Everything looks and feels LUSHER!
I ‘see’ everyone and everything as Godfoces- and it has allowed me to see myself even more.
I feel as though choices are much easier as I AM the flow and not simply recognizing the flow through the intelligence of my device. It is as though a large chunk of ice has dislodged and has returned to become the flow of the water once again.
Knowing there is always MORE is exhilirating as I step into my own program room this weekend with 4 courageous women!
As Gaia Unleashed I have a FREEDOM that DEMANDS I LIVE it!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this. At the moment my senses are realing between physical sensations and whirling thoughts and images. What I know is the familiarity with what you wrote here and a huge sense of relief to be able to see that aspect of me in you as I allow myself to fully experience the denser, heavier energies that surfaced for me lately. I am fully aware of what is happening and as hard as it is I am welcoming it with open arms. It is Me.
Thank you, everyone for sharing. I am releaved and inspired by the common theme, in all of your posts, of unconditional acceptance, an absoulutely safe environment in which to come together, authentically. I can relate easily and on so many levels, I prefer non-linear. You have given me permission to be brave in my expression of Self, to birth this environment of safety and acceptance into the environments that I co-create, thank you.
Hi Alyssa,
I love your line ‘permission to be brave in my expression of Self’.
As history and story fall away I create the space to remember who I AM and express authentically.
Thanks for taking the time to express yourself authentically. I look forward to our paths crossing on our journeys.
Warmly,
Naomi
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